i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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