I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
third nipple confirmed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
