She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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