Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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