i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
