she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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