You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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