Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
