i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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