Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
