All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
