Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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