he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
