She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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