Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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