so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
