Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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