it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
