so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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