talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We are all done wearing pants today
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
