I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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