just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
