You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
