You can't motorboat a personality
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He shit in the fireplace
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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