We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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