Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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