Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
