It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
