well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
