It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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