There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.