So drunk its hurt
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt