Plan B is the new Plan A
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
