Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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