hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
