Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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