is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize