Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
