Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Panties = found
Randomize
