is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
