Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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