My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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