David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
