You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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