I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I believe in your delicious
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
