I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I will be naked everywhere
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
