bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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