my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
