Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize