I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.