Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.