Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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