Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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