drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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