Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
