Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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