Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
