Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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